What Do I Do Now?

As therapy progresses, I have had many clients ask this question in one way or another.  When we have enough negative and traumatic experiences early on in life, it’s easy to move into adulthood with hypervigilance and an intense fear of showing up and being vulnerable in anyway.  After a lifetime of this behavior it […]

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Grieving in the Midst of Birthing

I want life to get back to normal. Against our will, we all just left the warm, soothing, familiar comforts of the uterus.  The uterus, representing our old lives before the pandemic, was a life of perceived safety, comfort and predictability.  I say ‘perceived’ because comfort, familiarity, and predictability often get conflated with safety.  As […]

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Take A Deep Breath….

…and slowly let it go….like 4 seconds slow.  Slowing down the exhale signals the parasympathetic nervous system to relax the body. How are you all doing during this global pandemic? If there was ever a time to implement self-care (mental, emotional, physical and spiritual), now would be that time.  And if we can’t go out […]

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Boredom. . .not always a bad thing

Years ago, I found myself telling a client that throwing punches and chairs at a casual summer bbq was not actually normal behavior.  I don’t like to use the word “normal” with my clients because we all have our own respective definitions of that word.  I think it’s normal (and quite tasty) to eat kimchi […]

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Why Positive Thinking Doesn’t Work

“I try to think positively…I try to say my affirmations, but I still feel bad about myself.” Have you heard these statements before?  Positive thinking has been part of mainstream pop-psychology for a few decades now and I’m kinda done with it.  Here’s why: THEY DON’T WORK.  At least not before you address your negative […]

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Spirituality vs. Psychology

***Warning: LONG blog post ahead…. I love reading books about spirituality. From Christianity to Buddhism to the Collective Consciousness and everything else in between.  I just finished a book written by a Zen teacher about the story, teachings and inspiration of Jesus titled Resurrecting Jesus: Embodying the Spirit of a Revolutionary Mystic by Adyashanti.  Great book. […]

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Do I Really Have to Forgive? Part 2

The process of forgiveness is not easy, that’s for sure.  But in the end, is one of the most liberating experiences in life! The FIRST step of this process is to EMOTIONALLY resolve your trauma & pain.  This first step is so imperative that I don’t believe you can get to forgiveness without it. So how does one […]

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Do I Really Have to Forgive? part 1

The short answer?  YES. But it’s truly for YOUR. OWN. GOOD.  Truly. I didn’t want to believe it either because I was raised with the belief that forgiving also means forgetting and pretending everything is just fine.  When I went through my own counseling experience having healed from old traumas, I started to believe that forgiveness wasn’t […]

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