What Do I Do Now?

As therapy progresses, I have had many clients ask this question in one way or another.  When we have enough negative and traumatic experiences early on in life, it’s easy to move into adulthood with hypervigilance and an intense fear of showing up and being vulnerable in anyway.  After a lifetime of this behavior it […]

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Grieving in the Midst of Birthing

I want life to get back to normal. Against our will, we all just left the warm, soothing, familiar comforts of the uterus.  The uterus, representing our old lives before the pandemic, was a life of perceived safety, comfort and predictability.  I say ‘perceived’ because comfort, familiarity, and predictability often get conflated with safety.  As […]

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Take A Deep Breath….

…and slowly let it go….like 4 seconds slow.  Slowing down the exhale signals the parasympathetic nervous system to relax the body. How are you all doing during this global pandemic? If there was ever a time to implement self-care (mental, emotional, physical and spiritual), now would be that time.  And if we can’t go out […]

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Meaning & Purpose…

…are the keys to a happy, fulfilling life.  That’s it.  It’s not fancy and it doesn’t involve acquiring stuff.  Discovering your purpose and finding a path that is meaningful to you is literally ALL YOU NEED to be fulfilled. Happiness, joy, and peace all come in the process of discovering your meaning and purpose. The […]

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Parenting Advice, Maybe…

Because one parent’s experience can be so different from another parent’s, parenting can be a tenuous topic to write about. I, myself, am not out of the woods with my role as a parent.  My son is still in the middle of his adolescence.  So I don’t have that wonderful perspective more experienced parents have […]

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Trust

Trust can be a precarious thing in life. I think it’s far easier to come up with a list of things and people we can’t trust than to think of those we can.  Can I trust my partner or spouse with the information I’m about to disclose?  Can I trust my boss to support me […]

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Letting Go

It’s so hard to do, ain’t it? Do you ever wonder why it’s so difficult to let go? I think it’s because we create an identity that aligns with whatever it is that needs letting go. If you’ve been depressed or anxious most of your life, it’s hard to imagine what you would be like […]

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Boredom. . .not always a bad thing

Years ago, I found myself telling a client that throwing punches and chairs at a casual summer bbq was not actually normal behavior.  I don’t like to use the word “normal” with my clients because we all have our own respective definitions of that word.  I think it’s normal (and quite tasty) to eat kimchi […]

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Why Positive Thinking Doesn’t Work

“I try to think positively…I try to say my affirmations, but I still feel bad about myself.” Have you heard these statements before?  Positive thinking has been part of mainstream pop-psychology for a few decades now and I’m kinda done with it.  Here’s why: THEY DON’T WORK.  At least not before you address your negative […]

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Going With The Flow

Just go with the flow. It’s a phrase you hear a lot these days. But what does it actually mean?  How do I do it?  And why do I need to do it? Let me answer that last question first. Why do we need to go with the flow? What’s wrong with preparing and planning? […]

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