Boredom. . .not always a bad thing

Years ago, I found myself telling a client that throwing punches and chairs at a casual summer bbq was not actually normal behavior.  I don’t like to use the word “normal” with my clients because we all have our own respective definitions of that word.  I think it’s normal (and quite tasty) to eat kimchi […]

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Why Positive Thinking Doesn’t Work

“I try to think positively…I try to say my affirmations, but I still feel bad about myself.” Have you heard these statements before?  Positive thinking has been part of mainstream pop-psychology for a few decades now and I’m kinda done with it.  Here’s why: THEY DON’T WORK.  At least not before you address your negative […]

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Going With The Flow

Just go with the flow. It’s a phrase you hear a lot these days. But what does it actually mean?  How do I do it?  And why do I need to do it? Let me answer that last question first. Why do we need to go with the flow? What’s wrong with preparing and planning? […]

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Spirituality vs. Psychology

***Warning: LONG blog post ahead…. I love reading books about spirituality. From Christianity to Buddhism to the Collective Consciousness and everything else in between.  I just finished a book written by a Zen teacher about the story, teachings and inspiration of Jesus titled Resurrecting Jesus: Embodying the Spirit of a Revolutionary Mystic by Adyashanti.  Great book. […]

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Time to Play!

We’re days away from Memorial Day weekend and here in the Pacific Northwest we are finally seeing little glimpses of Spring & Summer with sunny days and warmer temps.  Lawnmowers are mowing, yard sale signs are signing and hoses are hosing.  When the sun is out, we are pretty good at getting our tushies outside […]

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Do I Really Have to Forgive? Part 2

The process of forgiveness is not easy, that’s for sure.  But in the end, is one of the most liberating experiences in life! The FIRST step of this process is to EMOTIONALLY resolve your trauma & pain.  This first step is so imperative that I don’t believe you can get to forgiveness without it. So how does one […]

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Do I Really Have to Forgive? part 1

The short answer?  YES. But it’s truly for YOUR. OWN. GOOD.  Truly. I didn’t want to believe it either because I was raised with the belief that forgiving also means forgetting and pretending everything is just fine.  When I went through my own counseling experience having healed from old traumas, I started to believe that forgiveness wasn’t […]

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Love What Hurts

I have noticed that when we experience fear, sadness, anger or other disturbing emotions we tend to punish ourselves even further by judging or shaming such feelings.  However, punishing ourselves is like punishing a 5 year old who has just fallen down and scraped up her knee.  A loving parent would not judge or shame […]

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Reaction or Over-Reaction?

What’s the difference, right? A reaction is usually an emotionally-neutral response to something or someone. An over-reaction is NOT emotionally neutral.  Not. At. All. And why do we over-react?  Because we’ve just been triggered….by words, a look, a certain tone or silence.  And 9 times out of 10, these triggers have an origin in our […]

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